I’ve been meaning to update everyone on my progress so far. My journey to becoming sugar free has certainly had its bumps already. Ironically, my main motivation for wanting to cut sweets (pregnancy) has also been the cause of my setbacks.
After using ovulation test strips for a couple weeks without the expected results, I took a pregnancy test and found out we’re expecting baby #6. The unexpected news immediately sent my mind whirling with all the things I’d need to do to prepare. I’d dabbled with the idea of cutting out sugar before but here was the motivation I needed to push me to make the decision. I quit right then and there.
For the next couple weeks things went fairly smoothly. I felt good mentally and physically. Sweets were hardly even tempting.
We had an early ultrasound to determine how far along I am – still very early! Baby was estimated at only 5 1/2 weeks along. I’m still feeling normal and sticking to my healthy diet.
My kids had a homeschool co-op meeting in the morning, so after I dropped hubby off at work, I pulled through the McDonald’s drive thru to grab a quick breakfast for everyone. They’ve got a sweepstakes going on now (I’m a sweepstakes queen! haha) so I ordered items I knew would have the pull-off tabs for the contest. This included a mocha for my teenage daughter. No, not a healthy meal choice for anyone but I really wanted those sweepstakes entries, and I justified it to myself as a rare treat on a hectic day. Anyway, on the drive home, I took a sip of the mocha. Why? I don’t really know. Part of me wasn’t tempted at all. I was more interested in my bacon & egg biscuit! But part of me wanted to see if my 2 weeks without sugar would change how the drink would taste to me. So I took a sip. And it was gross! OK, maybe not totally disgusting, but certainly much too sweet and artificial. I thought to myself, if I had to drink that whole cup, it would make me sick to my stomach and probably give me a headache too.
My mind is on sugar this morning and I head to the store. The past couple days, morning sickness (the kind of all day nausea that makes it hard to find foods you can safely eat without gagging) has begun to kick in. I had decided before I even got to the store that I was going to get stuff to make smores. That was going to be my one indulgence. I don’t know why I picked smores. I think one of my kids had mentioned wanting graham crackers and it put the idea in my head. I wandered the aisles trying to find anything to eat that didn’t make me want to hurl. It was a difficult task! I got the graham crackers, the marshmallows, and for the chocolate I thought I would make a ‘better’ choice and picked the 70% dark stuff. When I got home, I popped 4 smores into the microwave to warm up and sat down with a cup of coffee, ready to enjoy this treat I was so looking forward to. I was sadly disappointed. It just wasn’t as good as I had thought it would be. Maybe it was the dark chocolate instead of cheapo Hershey’s. I don’t know. Maybe it was tainted by the disappointment in myself for giving in to the craving. Either much, I didn’t finish them. We left to meet friends at the park that afternoon.
For lunch, we stopped at McDonald’s again. Partially for more sweepstakes entries, but also because I was craving a cheeseburger. If you’ve never had pregnancy cravings like mine, let me tell you how it feels: most of the time when I think about what to eat, all the foods that come to mind make me disgusted. So disgusted that there’s no much I could put it in my mouth without puking. Even foods I normally love or eat all the time. And I can’t control what foods will be on my ‘gross’ list that day. So once my mind hits on food that sounds good, it’s the one and only thing I can eat. I just HAVE to have it. It’s awful! And I can’t wait for this phase to pass!!
So here we are again and I get another mocha for my daughter. At home, I take a sip, then later, another few sips. I finish off the smores I had left on my desk earlier.
In the past week, my diet has gotten worse. Morning sickness that lasts all day has settled in and made life difficult. I’ve had much more bread, and carbs in general, than I normally would. Certainly much more than I want to have in my diet. But right now it’s a matter of survival more than anything else. I eat what I can to survive another day without throwing up. That’s been one success so far at least. One month down without puking which is a big deal for me. With past pregnancies, I haven’t been able to manage as well.
This stage of sickness and food aversions should fade away by the end of the year. It usually lasts 2-3 months. I’m holding onto the hope that with the new year, I’ll be able to get my eating habits back on track. That’s the easiest time to do it as well. Everyone starts over in January. I will too. My journey may be sidetracked by my treacherous hormones but it is not derailed. I WILL succeed in the end.
In the meantime, I’m doing the best I can. Feeling sick every single day for weeks is exhausting and depressing but I will get through it.
How are you doing in your journey towards better health? I’d love to hear what your setbacks have been, how you’ve overcome them, or what your plans are to succeed. We’re all in this together, doing the best we can with what life has dealt to us. Share your story in the comments below!